It’s what they don’t tell you

So today was the day.

This morning I was trying to make lunches. And for some reason it was hard.

It’s one of those confusing moments in parenting. The moments you aren’t ready for. The ones no one writes about. The day when the house goes quiet and you’re sitting there feeling like you should be rushing somewhere. But you don’t have to.

The bus rolled away and I went swimming. I wasn’t ready to go in the house and pace around. So I went into the water and just listened to each stroke.

I came home and cleaned the fish bowls. Went to lunch with my husband.

And now I am here. At this computer. At this table. With this light. And for the first time in almost 9 years I am alone. There is no one asking me for a snack or needing to be wiped. It is quiet. Only the hum of the refrigerator hangs in the air.

And it saddens me it has gone by so fast. Without warning.

So here I am. A mom of three, with an empty house.

Just one of many phases a parent goes through. Maybe not the worst.

But for today it’s all I know.


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